Oleophage or Oil Gobblers

I had to share this strange memory from my childhood. Back in the 90s, I was sitting bored, flipping through TV channels like we used to do before streaming. I quickly scrolled past Arte (the German-French cultural channel), but something caught my eye. My fingers were too fast. I had already reached M6 when I decided to go back to Arte.

On screen was a small animal in the distance, sitting motionless at a ledge while a digging machine grabbed chunks of dirt and inched closer. The animal did not move. It remained still even as the cameraman made noise trying to save it. They failed. The camera turned away as the machine... well, swallowed the animal.

I put the remote down, trying to understand what I was watching. This was a documentary, meaning this was a real event captured on camera. I wondered which animal this was. The narrator described it as a "dumb animal with poor reflexes that feeds mostly on crude oil, charcoal, and sulfur." Something impossible, yet there was the animal gobbling oil on screen. The name struck me: "Oléophage." I didn't write it down or anything. It just remained in my head as a fascinating fact that I would share for the next 30 years. Or at least until a couple days ago.

The name came back to my mind when my son asked if crude oil is drinkable. "Oléophage," I thought. Humans can't drink oil, but I knew of animals that could survive on it. Obviously that can't be true... but it was a documentary, right?

I researched the name, and Google auto-corrected it to "oesophagus." I insisted and got no results. I persisted, and the term "oil gobblers" started to come up. And then I found a picture.

Well, that picture looks exactly as I remembered, but as an adult, I needed to know more. To an 8-year-old kid, this was a documentary. But I've come to find out it was actually a mockumentary—a Czech film made in 1988 that was translated and aired on the German-French channel in the 90s, right when I was flipping through channels. It was called Ropaci. I had memorized it as a fascinating scientific fact and was never able to read anything about it until now.

They fooled me for 30 years.

Nothing from it gave it away as a joke. Even now, you’d have to look deep into the web to find details about it. The film even had a part where they dissected the animal. I can’t believe I actually believed it. Sorry, I have a few phone calls to make.

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