Internet Powered Nonsense



Ah, the Westinghouse Radio Hub. An Internet connected radio, cd player, and weather station. I was unboxing merchandise at an old job when I arrived at this box. I stopped on my trail and contemplated putting it aside for myself before any customer sees it.

In our upcoming sale, I spied on customers eying my device. They picked it up, read through the plethora of internet connected features, then put it down. I made several prayers that were all answered because every single one put the box back on the shelf. When the sale ended I used my 10 percent employee discount to get this marvel of technology.

At home, I placed it in my closet then somehow forgot all about it.

A long time later, I was rummaging through my closet when I found this box buried under old clothes. I stopped on my trail again, interrupting whatever else I was doing and opened the box. How I wish I had a picture of this device to show you. It’s nowhere on the Internet.

When I took it out of the box, I was stunned by the elegant design. A silver cylinder with flushed speakers on each side behind a soft black fabric. On the top, the disc reader opened futuristically on the press of a mechanical eject button. On the front a tiltable 5 inch back lit LCD screen. Jony Ive would have been proud.

But then, my first disappointment. This internet connected device wasn't wireless. You had to plug an ethernet cable to enjoy its promises. But this was the 2000s, of course I had an unfathomably long ethernet cable laying around somewhere.

Plug it to the router, plug it to the power, hit the power button and the screen lights up with one word: Initializing.

When you have waited long enough, the screen changes to Network error. Must be a problem with my router of course. I unplugged it from the router, then connected it directly to the modem. Nothing beats raw unfiltered Internet data.

Initializing... Network error.

I unplugged it from the modem, then plugged it back on the router. I loaded my network debugging tools and started my investigation. The domain it was attempting to connect to was no longer resolving.

So much for the Internet features for me I guess. At least it was still a Radio and a CD player.

Let's tune in to the radio. Automatic station search. Apparently, that requires the internet as well. After you wait long enough, Network Error.

Well let's go with CDs then. I was a big fan of Linkin Park. Pop the disc housing open, Hybrid Theory goes in, close it and the cd audibly starts spinning.

Album info... Oh you don't have an internet connection? Network error it is. Then the disc stops spinning.

I spent months trying to get this device to work. It became a night project where I'd sink my precious time that could have been better spent sleeping. The device served as a conversation piece on my desk for some time. But one day, out of spite, I threw it in the garbage.

Can't have long lasting hardware with Internet Powered Nonsense!