Why Can’t I Find Anything on Google Anymore?

I used to pride myself on being the "Google expert." I’d snatch keyboards from unsuspecting hands, dictate search terms like a tyrannical librarian, or laugh at anyone typing fully-formed sentences into Google’s search box. “Type like you’re instructing a machine, not chatting with a friend,” I’d scoff.

Well, the joke’s on me. Nothing I type into Google these days gets me what I want. I can’t find anything anymore. Somehow, I now spend both more and less time on Google. More time because it takes forever to sift through irrelevant results and ads to find what I’m looking for. Less time because, honestly, I avoid Google altogether and jump to Yandex instead. (Hey, they actually match my keywords.)

So, what happened to Google? This wasn’t some overnight catastrophe; it’s been a slow, steady descent into chaos. Google is practically drowning in ads now, and it shows.

Once upon a time, Google was so good it became the unofficial documentation for everything. Back in the day, on a lazy Sunday, I might open Microsoft Word, click through every menu option, and take notes on features I liked. I even documented the entire Microsoft Office 97 suite in a notebook. Sure, the help menu existed, but who had time for that when you could experiment?

Fast forward to the golden age of Google, where you could just type “how to insert a table in MS Word” and boom, your answer was right there. It was magic!

But today? Oh, today’s Google search results are a mess. You get AI-generated summaries, a barrage of videos, and maybe—just maybe—your answer buried beneath a NordVPN ad (thanks for sponsoring everything, Nord). Half the time, I forget what I was searching for in the first place.

Here’s the thing. If Google served up your answer right away, you’d be gone in seconds. That’s great for you... but not for Google. Remember, Google isn’t a search company; it’s an advertising company. If you don’t click on ads, they’re basically giving you a service for free. That’s bad business.

So what do they do? They optimize for engagement. One ad? Not enough. Two ads? Getting warmer. Three ads? Perfect. Their job is to keep you on their platform just long enough to serve you ads—but not so long that you get frustrated and leave for good. It’s a delicate dance of annoyance and utility.

Google’s not broken; it’s working exactly as intended. It’s just not working for you.

Maybe the real search engine was the frustration we found along the way. Or maybe I should just go back to flipping through Microsoft Word menus.

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